life

u learn lessons from ur failures...and u move on...who cares what happen to u until and unless...u belong to their 'list'.. and to remind u that to fall in their list...u have to be a lucky one...coz no one loves u for granted....u have to earn ur place in their life.....

Tia's life

this is how i am. i just can't understand why people feel difficult to understand me.why can't they just admit that i am deaf? instead they want to spoil the circumstances around me by giving me false hopes and meaningless sympathies.

i lost my parents in a car accident.i was the one to ask my father, who was driving, to turn around so that i could show him the makeup that i was applying on my face.at that time, i didn't have slightest of idea that my childish prank would take my parents' life. my dear father, he lost control of his car and the last thing that i could remember is the hospital bed drenched with blood and mute people looking pathetically sorry for my state.

life moves on and we must let go things that are beyond our reach.so i too have started living on my own, neglecting harsh reality and ,at the same time, creating my own small world. i am fifteen years old and i live with my distance aunt who is kind to me. the word 'kind' seems so strange nowadays because i can use that word only to describe handful of people. to me, rest of the world seems like a dead people walking on the street with cold eyes and fake smile. at school, i am target of bullies who have guts to take my hearing aid off my ears and pass heartbreaking comments about me. i do cry but not infront of them because,i guess,i have grown up little earlier than rest of the kids of my age.

i see my relatives and through their eyes, i could feel how sorry they are for me.but i don't want that sympathy time and again. i have moved on though sometimes past hunts me in the forms of nightmares but then, i like to be treated like a normal kid. but no.i always find that extra care and concern only for me.

when teenage comes, no matter how much you deny this feeling, you are likely to be the victim of attraction towards opposite sex and i am not an exceptional. i like this guy who is my classmate. i like him not just because he has a cool hairdo or because he owns branded gadgets. i simply like the way he is. by the way, he is good to me and never makes fun of my hearing aid.

so one day, i collected all my strength to confess my undying love for him. i asked him to meet me at the backyard of the playground after school. he was good enough to accept my invitation. i could feel those goosebumps when he showed up. finally, i poured out my feelings for him only to get rejected. i was shattered. i was devastated. the most embarrassing thing was him saying,"i have great respect for your effort but how can i be in a relationship with a physically challenged person like you." i guess that was life's lesson. you don't get everything what you want and i am learning it pretty well.

i have a dream of becoming a social worker so that i could be able to help less fortunates. i believe in fairy tales and 'happily ever after' statement because life sustains in hope.so someday i believe that my small world will be accepted by the outsiders and my prince charming will find me and take me to his world where we will be living happily ever after.......

i am beautiful..:)

This is a new feeling...feeling of rising like a star and being able to dream much bigger and brighter...i don't know from when and for how long..it took me to realize that i am beautiful..i really am..and i don't have any doubts on this...any more....i may find myself with unmanageable hair...with big spectacles which i really dislike..and of coarse.with a pimp lee face...but to tell you the truth....i am actually falling in love with my face....however...to remind you that i am not being a part two Narcissus...but for now...i am not ashamed of admitting nadir feelings of mine that "i lop myself"...



During childhood...i had this inferiority complex feelings regarding my physical features...every person has a dream that he/she be appreciated..and liked by others...but in my case...i was deprived of praises regarding my appearence.i used to really hate my boyish face..thanks to my short haircut...because of which...my friends used to tease me..and i used to often cry....i desperately pinned to be an adult...in a hope that an ugly duckling might turn into a beautiful swan...hehehe...people say never to judge a book by its cover..but in reality...we often chose book by its cover..and...in the same way...people do like those who have good appearance......



I don't entirely blame others for making me feel insecure about my appearance...i am also equally guilty for not being confident about myself....i used to compare myself with others and ..used to find fault....i was ignorant and due to my ignorance...i invited many headaches..which were...useless and unnecessary......



i now know that i am beautiful...no matter..what others think about me...i am one of a kind and i appreciate my effort to look beautiful..as the way i am .....:):):):):)

Fragile state

road is long
life is short
eyes are numb
brain seems dumb
can't guess on
coz i'm drunk..;)

gloom

i can't accept the reality
it's drifting apart from me
confused!!! confused!!!!! whether it's me or my ghost
well i guess it's my immaturity
that ppl are irked abt....